Once in a while, we get moments so extraordinary– so uplifting and joyous that make us post happy thoughts. Once in a while we get the opposite, and for most of the time, it’s all the boring everyday routine of what we’re eating and stuff like that. But what made me post, at the middle of my struggle to keep awake, is what lies in the middle.
Once in a while we get the moments so simple but make us love life as it is. For me, today was a collection of those moments.
Moment #1: Reunited ❤
It’s been a busy semester for me and my sis. If we had a hard time keeping up with our monthly movie date before, this semester before both of our graduation made it really impossible. In all honesty I was already getting cold feet and feared that I was already forgotten. Today being reunited with her on our ‘tradition’ and just enjoying catching up over lunch and ice cream made me feel guilty of even thinking I could live my life without her.
Moment #2: Casual Talk
After meeting up with my sis I passed by the PRC Muntinlupa City Branch office to see my dearest kuya. I never really see people or go to places unless I have to (typical introvert of me) but today I just really missed him so much I decided to do so. Two things: One, having casual talks isn’t so bad after all; two, dropping by once in a while to do something nice for a friend and just… talk…feels fulfilling.
Moment #3: Meeting New People
Yes, I have social anxieties so bad that meeting new people (especially out of the blue) actually terrifies me. After dropping by the branch I fortunately passed by a 7-11 store and stumbled upon a new friend of mine. He was with his gym buddy whom I also had the pleasure of meeting that very moment. I’m usually the type who awkwardly says hi and find some reason to exit the situation right away before I do more awkward stuff. Social conventions aren’t really my thing. It’s a small step out of the comfort zone, but for me it’s a huge victory not to embarrass myself and not to have people’s first impression of me to be unapproachable. I congratulate myself for not being a total awkward moose. :3
Moment #4: Baby’s New Haircut
My siblings and I decided to check on our parents and baby brother in the shop when we saw his adorable new look. My family is going through a crisis, but at that one moment we were cooped up in a small room (really, really small) laughing. No matter where we are and no matter how grave the situation is, we always manage to have these happy moments.
Moment #5: My Dean’s Compliments
As soon as I got home, I received a notification at Instagram. My dean regrammed a picture where my classmates and I were announced we passed a certification/licensure thing. Also, two things: One, the words she expressed to me alone were so overwhelming. For all the past years, I’ve never entered her office to brag about anything because I’ve felt that it’s always not enough to make her proud. Two, the quote she used described me perfectly and I’m glad that despite the negativity of the fact that I’m underutilizing myself, she manages to give me a positive outlook. I’ve under-delivered my school life during college, despite that she still believed I have something greater in me. I’m working on it 🙂
A few days ago I was so lonely when I was faced with the confrontation that I needed to stop being so idealistic about life and be more in touch with reality. This was so upsetting because being idealistic was one of the things I loved about myself. But it was also that moment that made me embrace the person I want to be.
Being idealistic was the part of me that made volunteering so fulfilling, the part that makes me stick to my ethics, the part that makes me a better writer than a speaker in terms of expression. I love it because it’s what makes me appreciate these little things — the simple moments, the small victories — of everyday interaction. It’s my fuel when I lack motivation, my strength to love 100% and my compass to the decisions I’m emotionally comfortable of making. I would not give it up even when the world crumbles, because that is me. I do need to be more realistic, and I thank the people who made me realize that. But I’ll do it in a degree I’m comfortable of doing, but there are just things I would rather not give up.
If being idealistic makes me vulnerable because I rely too much on emotions, then I’m glad that those emotions make me appreciate these simple moments that other people might not to get me through. It’s like looking life through a kaleidoscope, at least it’s not boring.